


Spencer Reid Oneshots

by alxhamxra



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, maybe spice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29985423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alxhamxra/pseuds/alxhamxra
Summary: ~ A collection of oneshots on the young genius Dr Spencer Reid ~
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. Truth or Dare

The bar pounded with obnoxiously loud music, the bass reverberating across the packed dance floor. The team had just finished a horrid case and had decided that rather than allowing the vile images to replay on a never ending coil in their minds they would for lack of a better phrase, get shit faced drunk.

Hotch and Rossi were hunched in a secluded corner of the bar, crystal glasses of whiskey right within their grasp and their usual stoic expressions upon their features. The rest of the team were laughing happily in a large booth, beers and colourful cocktails in hand as raucous laughs sounded in the air.

"Oh my god! We should play truth or dare!" Garcia giggled, her neon bracelets jingling as she wiggled her arms in a small dance. Everyone shared a collection of drunken agreements or annoyed groans at the proposition but eventually everyone agreed.

"Hey Spencer" y/n greeted with a wild blush, her cheeks painted a bright scarlet as he slid into the seat next to her. JJ smirked as she watched the altercation between the pair, she knew how y/n felt about the genius, how her eyes sparkled with such adoration when he did something as simple as say a fact. Her teasing towards the girl was incessant but she knew y/n didn't really mind.

"I-I've never played truth or dare before" he spoke in an embraced tone, his cheeks flashing rouge as his and y/n's arm brushed from the close proximity.

"Okay Pretty Boy, You pick truth or dare and if you don't wanna do it you take a shot" Morgan said as he slyly wrapped his arm around Garcia's shoulder, his muscles flexing as he gave her a side hug. Reid nodded, inhaling deeply to hide the ever growing blush on his face as the woman he had fallen madly in love with in the past few months nudged him playfully with her elbow.

"I'll go first!" Garcia practically sung, clapping her hands as she bounced up and down on her chair, the jewels on her rings glimmering in the bright lights that shone down upon them.

The game lasted a while before it was y/n's turn, and much to her chagrin Morgan had gone just before her meaning he would be picking. 

"Alright y/n truth or dare?" He chuckled as he spoke, you could see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he thought of the perfect way to embarrass her before she had even spoken.

"Dare" she spoke in a wavering tone, fear crawling up the back of her throat as she watched Morgan smirk with a playful look in his eyes.

"I want you to, by the end of the night, have made out with the hottest guy in this here bar" y/n's eyes widened as he spoke, her hand quickly gravitating towards the shot glass in front of her. Then it hit her.

This was her chance, to finally admit just how madly in love with Spencer she truly was. And if things go wrong, she could blame it all on being completely intoxicated.

"Screw it" she whispered to herself, but apparently loud enough for everyone to hear. Reid furrowed his brows in worry as he looked at her, "are you o-" he began to speak before being cut off.

Y/n smashed her lips against his, her heart stammering as she released all the months of pent up feelings into a kiss. Spencer froze for a moment, shock washing over him before the realisation hit him. He slowly raised his hand to cradle y/n's cheek as he kissed her with a newfound vigour. 

The pair were ripped from their trance by Morgan's ridiculous bellow, "get it pretty boy!" His deep voice echoing through the bar and almost deafening everyone around them.

"I'm just going to say this, I-I love you" y/n spoke in a scared tone, Spencer's eyes widened drastically before a goofy grin spread his lips.

"I love you too" his face was painted a beautiful crimson, his caramel eyes shining with joy as he looked at y/n.

"Finally!" JJ yelled excitedly, her hands cheering above her head as laughs spread through the group.

"You knew?!?" Emily practically screamed, her face filled with mock anger. The team laughed once again as JJ spoke once again.

"Well y/n didn't exactly hide it" y/n blushed violently as she hid her face in Spencer's neck, his shoulders bouncing as he let out a hearty laugh.

"I think I like truth or dare" he whispered in y/n's ear as he lightly pecked her on the temple, his arm tightening its grasp around her waist as the team cooed and giggled at the new couple.


	2. Coffee Shop

A small jingle sounded in the air as y/n opened the door, the rich scent of coffee and cinnamon invading her senses as she stepped into the quaint cafe only just around the corner from her house.

Her cheeks flooded scarlet as the warm air embraced her frost bitten body, her h/c littered with snowflakes from the relentless weather outside. She loved to come here and relax, the warm aroma that forever filled the coffee shop never failing to bring a smile to her face.

"Can I get a chai tea?" She grinned tiredly at the wide eyed woman behind the counter, the woman's auburn locks bouncing excitedly on her shoulders. Y/n quickly tapped her card against the reader that sat on display next to the register, the small ding alerting her the payment went through.

"Coming right up" she spoke with a smile, ushering herself away to make y/n's drink. The h/c haired girl gazed around the shop, watching as a small couple chatted quietly in a corner booth, fingers interlaced with the others.

A large bookshelf covered the biggest wall in the cafe, each shelf lined with books of varying conditions. Some were old leather backs, pages creased and worn from years and years of attention. Others were brand new, slick covers and pristine white pages that begged for someone to wear down.

Y/n picked up her drink before sliding into her usual booth, one with the gorgeous view of the park outside. Emerald trees painted with precious drops of crystal snow, the ground shining brightly with the gentle golden glow of the sun. She watched as awkward teens walked side by side, hands itching to latch onto the ones beside them. Dogs bouncing excitedly as their owners watched with wide smiles at their pets joy.

The sudden jingle of the bell snatched y/n's attention away from her cup, when her eyes landed on what could only be described as the most gorgeous man to ever walk the earth.

The man was tall, his hair practically brushing against the top of the door. His skin was sun kissed, adorned with hundreds of honey freckles that contrasted against the precious shades of crimson upon his cheeks. His eyes were like pools of the richest gold, bright and joyful as they glimmered in the warm lights.

Y/n watched as he ordered his drink, a pounding feeling in her chest as she watched him with wide eyes. When he turned to look around the shop, his eyes locked with y/n's e/c ones, eventually leading to an unfortunate chain of events.

She smiled kindly at him, the scolding hot liquid in her mouth quickly pouring from her lips and soaking her clothes. Spencer's smile faded as he watched y/n flap her arms in an attempt to cool the tea, he rushed over towards where she sat, small pile of paper towels in hand.

"H-here, are you okay?" He rushed out, piling the napkins in front of them and wiping away the drink. His worried frown disappeared as y/n suddenly began to laugh, pausing her cleaning to hold her stomach as she chuckled loudly. Spencer began to giggle nervously alongside her, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the girl.

"Sorry, it's just-" she cut herself off by a quiet laugh, returning to her wiping only to grimace when she saw just how ruined her shirt was. 

"The one time a good looking guy comes in I immediately make a total fool of myself" y/n brought her hands up to cover her face, closing her eyes and hoping the world would just swallow her whole. Then the words she just said hit her, shit. Did I just say that? she thought with a hidden scowl.

Spencer chuckled nervously, his soft caramel curls falling in front of his rose tinted cheeks. His navy blue tie fell forward slightly as he smiled, the end soaking up a small puddle of tea that remained on the table.

"W-well if you want I could buy you another coffee" 

"Sure, thank you. Do you wanna sit with me?" Y/n questioned sweetly, watching as the man she had still yet to name blushed wildly and fixed his terrible posture.

"I-I'd love that" his tone was meek and shy, wavering quietly as he spoke. He nervously ran a hand through the rugged toffee tendrils upon his head, unaware of how y/n practically drooled at the way his veins protruded against the smooth porcelain skin.

"I'm y/n by the way" Y/n said whilst extending a hand out to him, almost laughing at how small her hands were compared to his.

"Spencer. Spencer Reid".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please lemme know what you thought ;)


	3. Broken

{ TW. This chapter contains violence, knifes, blood and death so please do not read if that triggers you. }

♥︎☠︎♥︎☠︎♥︎

The team had just finished a hectic case, their brains were swarming with the morbid images they had only recently seen.

Everyone but Reid and y/n had already escaped the dreary atmosphere of the office and were most likely cuddled up in bed sound asleep whilst y/n was nodding off between paperwork and Spencer was chugging the scolding hot coffee as if his life depended on it.

Y/n finally ticked the last box on the sheet and practically dashed out of the door, barely waving to Spencer as she threw the glass doors open and jumped down the stairs three at a time.

Her running was cut short when a huge gust of wind blew into her face, the wind was sharp and nipped at her nose, y/n began to shiver violently as she made her way to the car.

Her hands were shaking violently with the cold so when she pulled her keys out she dropped them straight onto the ground. Y/n groaned in exasperation as she kneeled down to retrieve her keys, desperate to slip into the cozy confines of her duvets.

When y/n pulled herself back up she suddenly felt a presence behind her, she slowly turned and just as she was making out the persons silhouette she felt a sharp pain sting through her forehead, then everything went black.

Spencer dragged his legs in the direction of his car, eager to get home and read a few books to distract his busy mind from the latest case. He merely glanced in the direction of y/n's car when he saw the door wide open, he approached quickly and his breath caught in his throat when he saw a pool of blood alongside y/n's car keys.

His breathing grew erratic and heavy as his eyes followed the deep crimson that flowed gently along the concrete and towards the surrounding drain. Spencer grabbed his gun from its holster and took cautious steps around the car, he was desperate to find footsteps or any sign of where y/n had gone, he couldn't even begin to imagine losing the woman he loved. Y/n was blissfully unaware of the young genius' true emotions towards herself and for all that Spencer was a genius and seemingly knew everything he too was unaware of how desperate y/n was to admit that she had been madly in love with the man for years.

The two seemed to live in a mutual agreement to never confess their feelings, to watch as the other fell in and out of 'love' with others, they were at an impasse, Spencer was too naive and y/n was too stubborn and embarrassed.

Spencer followed the drops that seemed to lead towards a van behind the BAU building, his breath was stuck in his throat and his head felt fuzzy as the drops of scarlet stopped at the door of the navy blue vehicle. His head perked up when he heard the sudden squeal of a car door opening, Spencer scanned the area to find y/n's abductor but his search was fruitless, a sudden blow to the back of his head caused him to drop his gun. He could feel the blood begin to pour before he collapsed to the concrete and everything became void, a cruel twilight devouring him.

♥︎☠︎♥︎☠︎♥︎

Y/n woke up when a loud scream echoed through her ears, it felt as if the scream was bouncing off the inside of her head, only adding to the sudden ache that she was met with.

She squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows when she tried to take in her surroundings, after attempting to rub her eyes she realised that her hands were tied behind the chair she was forcefully strapped to. Y/n looked around once her eyes had adjusted to the harsh white lights that were beaming down on her blood and dirt covered skin, her gaze immediately locked onto the frantically kicking Spencer Reid, he seemed to be trying to find a way to escape the confines of the rope but it was no use, he was tied even tighter than y/n.

"Spence, Spence, hey, calm down" she spoke softly, trying to console the petrified looking doctor. His furious yet terrified expression softened tremendously when he saw the condition in which y/n was in, her hair was tugged and matted with blood, every cut and bruise that littered her face and chest covered in dried blood, dirt and tiny stones. 

"Y/n! I-I'm so s-sorry this is all my fault" Spencer began to sob as the girls own tears fell softly down her cheeks and onto the torn material of her trousers.

"Don't say that Spence okay? You didn't do anything" her voice broke as the tears she was holding back to seem strong left her eyes. She watched as Spencer nodded at himself and how his breath audibly hitched as he looked behind her and caught sight of someone.

"He's right you know" the captor spoke, y/n jumped at the sudden voice, she wasn't scared of what they might do to her she was more shocked at the striking familiarity that the voice held to one of Spencer's ex girlfriends, Maeve. When Spencer and Maeve were together the girl was always of jealous of y/n's relationship with the doctor, she didn't try to hide it either, she would always make snide and snarky remarks towards y/n when she would simply wave or smile at Spencer. Y/n found it funny rather than taking her statements seriously, the only thing that worried her was the red headed girls constant hinting to Spencer about 'being together forever' to which he would always laugh and nod sarcastically yet y/n never noticed the way Spencer's eyes diverted off his girlfriend and in her direction whenever he said I love you.

"Maeve? Please whatever you're doing stop I'm begging you" he pleaded not bothering to take in her previous statement. Maeve glared at y/n before turning her head back towards Spencer, y/n watched as her eyes filled with what one would conceive as love or adoration towards the genius but the average person would miss the flicker of insanity that flashed across Maeve's expression as she watched the way the pair struggled against their bounds and called out aimlessly for help.

"Don't interrupt me Penny" she giggled maniacally as the madness behind her eyes grew, Maeve brought the knife she was carrying up towards y/n's face and began drawing shapes against the girls skin, she pressed hard enough that the girl trembled with fear yet held enough control not to pierce the skin even through her sudden outbursts of silent giggling.

"I said, he was right you know? It's all his fault" she applied more pressure to the blade, leaving a thin slice across y/n's cheek when she quickly withdrew the blade, the girl hissed in pain as the blood began to pour down her face, merging with the tears that flowed relentlessly.

"What do you mean? He didn't do anything!" Y/n found herself growing protective and defensive at Maeve's comment but quickly retracted when a harsh scowl spread across her captors pale complexion. 

"He ruined everything! I loved him so much but he was in love with you!" She bellowed, her voice was high pitched and shrill and y/n struggled to find a hint of sanity from within her words. Y/n may have been in unspeakable pain and certain that she wouldn't escape the room they were in alive, but she knew that when she did die she'd be able to die in peace knowing that perhaps he admired her every move the way she did, that her laugh and smile could bring as much joy and tranquility that his did to her.

"I don't love her! It's you it always been you!" Spencer retaliated, it broke him to say the words but if he didn't neither of them would escape. The look of sheer joy that spread across Maeve's face was quickly wiped away when y/n let out an involuntary sob, you could hear the pain from within her vocal chords as her throat constricted her breathing throughout each dreadful cry. 

"aw is little y/n upset" a cruel grin replaced the stone cold look which previously resided on her blood covered lips. Maeve skipped merrily over to y/n and cut yet another slit on her face, this time straight across her forehead, blood oozed and gashed fast and harder this time, soaking y/n's eyebrows and lashes. Y/n choked and coughed loudly as she inhaled the scarlet that poured ferociously down onto her lips and tongue, her spluttering and desperate gasps for air causing Maeve to giggle excitedly and skip in circles around the girls struggling body, Spencer screamed and fought against the ties that still held a tight grip around his torso.

"Penny don't seem so upset! I thought you loved me...why would you be so angry with me?" Maeve's gaze was burning holes into Spencer's as the fury within the red headed girl increased.

"I'm not angry at you my love, I just wish I could help you finish the job, finally get the desperate vermin off this earth so me and you can be together forever" he spoke with confidence as he tried to persuade the psychotic woman, his chest ached as he spoke, the words feeling as if they were acid burning his tongue as he spoke them. His statements clearly aided Maeve in her delusions as she pouted and approached Spencer, she placed a forceful kiss upon his lips and he had to force himself not to gag as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I swear honey, as soon as she's gone I'll let you go I just don't want her to trick you into letting her go" her words caused Spencer to once again start crying, the tears were falling in short, erratic downfalls but were visible enough for Maeve to see. 

"Don't tell me you still love her" she threatened as she brought the now blood soaked blade to his throat, he whimpered and Maeve applied the smallest amount of pressure.

"No I swear I don't! I mean look at her! Who would ever love her" he frantically explained as he looked up and y/n up and down, to Maeve he was glaring at her but he was really taking in her appearance one last time, he knew that there was no escaping this. Unless the team burst through the door in seconds and somehow made her surrender y/n was gone. 

"Then why are you crying?" She asked as she began playing with y/n's matted hair, tying it in harsh braids before violently slicing them off with the knife that had remained in her hand during the whole ordeal. Spencer rummaged his head for something to say, he had expected her to simply agree and carry on with her plan but she was being difficult. She was testing him.

"Because I'm so in love with you! I'm crying because I can't believe we're finally going to get to be together! are you sure we have to kill her though, I mean we could frame her for something and then her torture would last forever! I mean death is far too painless for someone who tried to get in between me and you!"

"Aw Penny that's so sweet!" She chirped, still continuing her barbaric form of 'hairdressing'. A glint of hope flashed over Spencer but the glimmer that stood moments ago disappeared when Maeve began to speak once again.

"But no. I've seen the way she looks at you, she loves you more than anything. So dying knowing you'll never love her back is perfect" Maeve said with a bright smile, her teeth were yellow and dirty causing Spencer to gag once again at the sight of her.

Maeve swiftly moved the knife from y/n's hair and down to her throat,  
"I love y-" y/n tried to yell but was cut short by Maeve gliding the knife along her throat. Blood flew violently from y/n's neck, the thick crimson liquid dancing across the white walls of the warehouse and across Spencer's body.

Spencer wailed, his body trembling violently as he shook and attempted to tear away from the confines. His vision blurred, the only thing still appearing were the stains that spread across the room and y/n's lifeless body lying ahead of him. Spencer heard the yells coming from the door of the warehouse, he could barely make out the words FBI and To remain silent as he trembled and tremoured silently in his seat, he could feel the release of the ropes from behind him but couldn't bring himself to feel relief as he fell forward, no longer restricted by the ties.

Heaving sobs echoed through the bare walls as the boy crumpled to the ground, he had always tried to be strong even through the most difficult times yet his body held no life, no energy within his now aching bones. His team members wouldn't dare touch the broken boy as he wailed, his voice cracking and breaking with each torturous scream.

He was broken.


	4. Married in Vegas

The team groaned in unison when Hotch informed them that they wouldn't get home until the following day. They had already finished the case yet due to a heavy rain storm the jet couldn't take off until the next morning.

Everyone had piled into the hotel and just as the team were about to divide into their respected groups and finally get some much needed rest, Morgan proposed that the team, for lack of a better word, get absolutely shit faced drunk.

The statement was initially met with an array of disapproving comments and complaints but after little to no persuasion the team were off getting ready for a night of booze and banter.

Y/n was meant to be sharing a room with Emily so the two chased each other down the vast hallways, both desperate to reach the shower first.

Although y/n was smaller than Emily she somehow managed to dash past her at the last second and slip into the generic hotel bathroom before her friend. Y/n discarded her clothes quickly and turned on the shower before stepping into the warm embrace that was the scolding water.

Mere minutes passed before Emily was pounding at the door, complaining incessantly that she was taking too long. Y/n loved Emily she really did but she was the most impatient woman she had ever met. 

Y/n clambered out of the shower, shivering at the sudden loss of heat but stopped when she wrapped one of the provided towels around her slightly shaking posterior.

Emily barged into the bathroom hastily and began to undress before y/n had even processed what was going on, once she had realised that her friend was practically half naked y/n dashed out the door and started to rummage through her go back in an attempt to find a 'night out' appropriate outfit.

She slipped on a pair of high waisted black jeans, a white silk shirt with which she unbuttoned the first few exposing a small portion of her chest and collar bone, she zipped up her heeled boots before making her way back to the now empty bathroom to apply her makeup.

Y/n coughed slightly when the pent up steam escaped from the confines of the bathroom, the mirror was covered in a thick mist making it near impossible for y/n to make out her reflection. She wiped the water away with her towel from earlier before fishing through her makeup bag and beginning her usual routine, normally she would do a very natural look but tonight y/n decided to go all out. Instead of her usual mascara she doused her eyes in shades of red and gold, pristine black wings framed her eyes and her lips were stained a deep crimson.

When she walked out of the room she was met with a hoard of wolf whistles, she furrowed her brows in confusion at the sudden appearance of new voices but when she was met with the handsome faces of Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid she relaxed her face and gave them a light chuckle.

"Damn y/n" Derek said as he inspected her outfit, When y/n had first joined the BAU the mans flirty personality had left her confused and often blushing but after working with the man for just over five years she had grown accustomed to his often less than appropriate comments.

Y/n gave the group a spin and began laughing when Emily whipped out a bottle of vodka from seemingly nowhere. The team took turns taking swigs, besides Spencer who poured it carefully into a glass after thoroughly washing it in the sink. 

Forty minutes later and the small group piled into a busy club only ten minutes away from the hotel, they were surprised that it took so long to find a bar since they were in Vegas of all places, they had passed three marriage chapels on the way to the club, each adorned in neon flashing lights of every colour imaginable and ridiculous caricatures of Elvis Presley just as y/n had expected them to be.

Throughout the night and with each passing drink y/n found herself staring quite intently at none other than Spencer Reid. He was gorgeous, even her sober self knew that yet tonight she couldn't help but notice and appreciate different things about the young doctor. The two had been basically attached at the hip since they had joined the team at the same time and y/n had never found herself looking at the genius the way she was right now, it was if a whole new light had been shone on him and to say it was flattering would be an understatement.

Spencer never normally accompanied his friends on their nights out so his alcohol tolerance was pitifully low this caused every sip of his beer to seem like five and after only four bottles he could barely stand straight for more than ten seconds at a time. His drunkenness was also clouding his judgement, so when he saw y/n step forward ever so slightly his foggy brain perceived that she was leaning in. 

The twos eyes locked for milliseconds before Spencer had smashed his lips against hers, the girl seemed taken aback at first but in a moment of poor judgement and temptation she kissed him back with even more force.

Spencer and y/n ran out of the bar giggling like maniacs, hand in hand. Moments after y/n inhaled her first cool, clean breath of air it was knocked out of her by Spencer once again kissing her, this time it was filled with hunger and desire instead of the initial kiss' nervous and bashful demeanour. Y/n groaned lightly when Spencer's hands travelled up to her hair and rugged on it ever so slightly, her arms were across his shoulders and her hands were linked behind the back of his head. 

The two pulled apart after their lungs began to burn due to lack of oxygen, at first their faces were covered in regretful frowns but as quickly as their sudden soberness appeared it vanished and left them once again with fuzzy brains and slightly blurry vision. Y/n and Spencer suddenly began laughing loudly, Reid was still only inches away so their giggles and gasps were practically being forced into the others mouths.

Spencer intertwined his fingers with y/n's and the two began skipping merrily down the street, still giggling with each other as confused glares were sent their way from on goers. 

Reid suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes filled with a mischievousness that only appeared when he had a great, or in this case not so great idea. He turned to y/n with a cheeky grin and captured her lips in another kiss, y/n broke apart first and scrunched her face up when Spencer began jumping up and down in pure, intoxicated glee.

"What's going *hiccup* on in that head of yours" y/n grinned as she swung their hands back and forth.

"WE SHOULD GET MARRIED" the doctor yelled as he pointed to the chapel beside them, usually y/n would simply laugh but the many many drinks she had consumed in such a short length of time caused her to gasp and begin dragging him in direction of the entrance.

The pair burst through the doors of the building dramatically, receiving bored glances from the employees as it wasn't uncommon for two people to become far too drunk and make the mistake of marrying someone they've either just met or in y/n's case, their best friend.

Thirty minutes later and the two were exchanging rings, of course they didn't have rings to y/n placed a small hoop earring onto his ring finger and he an old key-ring with the tag missing.

"You may now kiss the bride" the Elvis impersonator yelled in a horrific American accent, his true British accent blatant as he spoke.

Spencer grasped each side of y/n's face and pulled her into a kiss, if it could be counted as a kiss, rather it was simply two smiles being clashed together violently since neither could withhold their giggles.

"Well Hello Mrs Reid" Spencer bowed playfully as they walked outside, just as he was about to stand once again Spencer stumbled slightly and fell straight onto the concrete with a quiet thud.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr L/n" instead of helping her 'husband' stand she decided to accompany him on the cold, wet stone. The newlyweds broke into yet another fit of violent giggles as they rolled around on the pavement, the rain was coming down in lashings, leaving y/n and Spencer sodden as they finally stood back up and made their way back to the hotel.

The desk staff at the hotel chuckled as Spencer and y/n stumbled drunkenly through the foyer and towards their rooms. Spencer dragged his newfound wife into his room and within seconds of them being in the space he had pinned her up against the wall, Reid began kissing from her lips down to her neck, leaving visible bruises that she would have to cover in the morning. Y/n began desperately unbuttoning his shirt before groaning in frustration and ripping it open, buttons flew in every direction as Spencer began to lead y/n towards the bed.

———————————

Y/n groaned when the harsh morning light hit her eyes, her head was in agony after last night events, those of which she couldn't seem to remember.

She desperately searched her brain in an attempt to recollect what happened last night but her thoughts were cut short when she felt a hand tighten around her waist, pulling her closer. Y/n dared to peer up at the person who was holding her so tightly and she let out a loud gasp when she saw none other than Spencer Reid.

Her sudden inhale seemed to awake Spencer as his eyes slowly began to flutter open, he nuzzled his face back into the pillow and closed them once again but they burst open when he noticed the woman entangled with him.

Both of their eyes grew to the size of saucepans as they gazed at each other, neither dared to move or speak either in confusion or fear. Yet one word was repeating itself over and over again in both of their brains.

Shit.


	5. You Said Forever

𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟, 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡.

The engine roared as y/n pressed down upon the pedal, she watched as the small red handle raised through tear filled eyes. Streams of crystal flowing slowly down her flushed face, the once beautiful shades of crimson and rose that once played upon her cheeks reduced to a vile scarlet as each drop stained her skin.

She gazed through the windshield, the vibrancy of the sights before her mocking her with their joyful colours. The deep emerald of the trees, warm amber bursting through the windows as her car drove past.

Each sight bringing back painful memories of when he was hers. Days where the two would walk carelessly through the park, basking in the golden hues of the sun, the love so evident around them.

That love was gone now, each promise he had ever spoken to her blurring into words of deception, stabbing her heart and mind.

She drove past the quaint library in which they had first met. His beautiful caramel curls shining in the warm lights, his freckled complexion covered with a deep blush as he skimmed through the pages of a book.

She had grabbed the same book as him, felt the grasp from behind it. When he released his hold and revealed his face y/n was in awe, he was a sight of pure ethereality. 

The two had spent hours, talking and unconsciously falling in love. But that didn't matter anymore. He had told her he didn't love her anymore, said the words without so much as a tear.

His face was stone cold, the only emotion within his absent expression was in his eyes. The chocolate orbs that were once filled with so much love and adoration for the girl long gone, but there was still love within them. Not for y/n though, instead for one of his coworkers.

JJ. She couldn't blame him for loving her, she was perfect, each insecurity y/n had ever had increasing by tenfold in her presence. Her golden hair that hung across her petite posterior, the magnificent oceans within her eyes threatening to drown y/n with each second she glanced into them.

The words of her one true love still played in her mind. Before he fell for another, the day he had promised her forever.

Spencer fell to one knee, his eyes filled with such passion as he gazed at the woman he thought he would spend eternity with.

A intricate sapphire ring between his trembling fingers as he spoke, his words were so true back then. No deceit within his promises.

"You're the only person I will ever love"

"I love you. I always will"

"You're perfect"

"I promise to be by your side forever"

Each word like venom within y/n's mind as she pressed even harder on the pedal, the music from her speakers adding to the throbbing ache within her head. 

He had said forever, spent days in her loving embrace. But with each touch from JJ, he found himself entranced. He had kissed the golden girl, tasted the sweetness of her lips and still returned to y/n, let her think he belonged to her. Allowed each passionate word, each tender moment, tricking y/n into a false sense of security. He would lay there within her arms, trying to return the affection so so longed to give. It seemed as if there was a barrier, a barricade that refused to let him love her once again. Instead his mind would swarm of images of JJ, her tanned skin, the beautiful blue of her eyes. The gentle touch of her rose petal lips upon his leaving him feeling blissful.

The ring that now sat upon the blondes finger, except this time he truly meant his words.

Because he said forever, now y/n drove down his street. Longing to hear his angelic voice beside her, feel the warmth radiating from him as he laced their hands together.

His touches once left shivers in their wake, now they scorched y/n like flames. Each word that fell from his tongue like poison, destined to bring agony to her already desolate heart.

Y/n still found herself aching for the harsh burns, no pain was as insurmountable as knowing he was gone. No matter how much torture and torment he had put her through, she still swore her heart to him. Signed her soul away the moment they met, pledged to love him for eternity even if he wouldn't reciprocate.

She knew she would never love another, everyone paled in comparison to him, he was a god amongst mortals and y/n was simply a pawn in his game of lust. Nothing but a crash dummy for him to experiment with, release his pent up emotions at her so he could be flawless for JJ.

They weren't perfect, but y/n thought that those imperfections were what kept them together. Knowing that the other would embrace each broken part of them, shield them from the demons within.

But the day he left, the moment the door shut, and violent sobs wracked y/n's body, he had left her completely exposed to the ghosts that preyed upon them.

He said forever. Now she's left alone to pick up the pieces of the life he shattered.

For he had left her a broken girl, a shell of the person she once was. Leaving the demons to do as they please whilst he lived in bliss.


	6. Lovers Embrace

Working with the BAU was exhausting, Spencer all too often returned home looking like a shell of a man. Heavy bags hung like deadweights under his eyes, his caramel curls draping lifelessly across his head.

The days when he would return home, scared, tired and desperate for reassurance were y/n's time to shine. And today was one of those days.

Y/n sat in a peaceful silence, the only sounds filling the air was that of the pages in her book as she passed from one to the other. Her serenity was broken by the quiet jingling on keys from behind the door, y/n's heart broke when she saw Spencer drag his aching limbs through the hallway and into the living room where she sat.

Deep shades of purple painted his face, his gorgeous eyes missing their usual spark. A tired frown plastered across his slightly chapped lips.

No words were spoken as y/n slowly reached out to embrace the boy, he practically melted at her touch. She ran her fingers slowly through his tangled locks, quiet hums of appreciation left his mouth as y/n gently massaged his scalp as he lay lifelessly upon her.

The two sat there for little over an hour, the only noise being the airy snores that slipped through Spencer's nose. Y/n chuckled slightly to herself at his sleeping figure. His mouth slightly parted, eyebrows furrowed, his long eyelashes fluttering every so often. She glanced over at the small clock that sat upon the dark wooden side table, y/n groaned slightly when she noticed the late hour, knowing she would have to wake the peacefully sleeping man on top of her.

"Hey bub, come on let's get you showered" she spoke softly as she gave him a slight nudge, Spencer let out an exasperated sigh and nuzzled his head further into her chest, his freckle dotted nose scrunching into the soft fabric of her shirt.

Y/n could have sworn she died when Spencer slowly rubbed his eyes, a childish pout across his sleep ridden face. Instead of looking at the adorable boy and most likely finding herself on the couch the rest of the night, she carefully stood up, intertwining her fingers with his and walking with him towards the bathroom.

Spencer stood there, eyes still closed as y/n began to run the water for the shower. She giggled lightly as she unbuttoned his shirt and rid him off his now wrinkled clothes. He watched her through lidded eyes, a loving smile crossing his rose petal lips.

The two allowed the water to run heavily down their bodies, y/n rubbing a sweet smelling soap across the canvas of Spencer's back, pleased sounds involuntary coming through his slightly parted mouth. Each time one would grace y/n's ears she would let out a small laugh and peck his shoulder lightly before continuing her scrubbing.

Once y/n had finished she led a still half asleep Spencer through to the bedroom where she had left a pair of pyjamas neatly folded near the foot of the bed. She returned back into the bathroom and left him to dress himself, she washed her face quickly and brushed her teeth, the promise of sleep creeping upon her as her eyes began to close.

Her heart swelled when she saw the sight of Spencer lying in the bed, his previously neat and freshly washed hair once again tussled and lying recklessly across the pillow. His eyes were closed tight but his arms were outstretched, beckoning for y/n to join him as he scrunched his hands up childishly, a sleepy grin on his face. The glum look no longer plaguing his beautiful features, delicate shades of crimson were painted across his pale cheeks as he happily embraced y/n.

He squeezed her tight to his body, shoving his nose into her h/c hair. Soft breaths blew the loose strands around her head as he absentmindedly rubbed circles into her shoulder, his leg laced effortlessly around hers, leaving them completely intertwined.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Y/n spoke gently as she traced random shapes across his chest. She knew he would tell her when he felt comfortable, for sometimes it became all too much only just after the case was settled.

"In the morning" he spoke in the groggy voice that brought butterflies to y/n's stomach, she nodded gently and continued with her drawing, the sound of his heart beat slowly lulling her closer and closer to sleep.

"I love you, so much" Spencer said, his voice slightly hoarse and muffled, the vibration from his words ricocheted through his chest and simultaneously through y/n's relaxed body.

"I love you too" she spoke, placing a gentle kiss on his lips before returning to her spot. Once again they both began to drift off, quickly embracing the release of sleep huddled within one another.

It was on nights like these that Spencer knew, truly became aware of how much he truly adored y/n. He knew that one day he would marry her, spending each night in his lovers arms.


	7. You Are My Sunshine

A gentle laugh slipped past her lips, a genuine smile spread across her slightly chapped lips. Spencer smiled fondly at the memory, his eyes filled with such adoration for the girl who's head lay upon his lap. Her h/c hair spread wildly across the fabric of his jeans, a deep sigh left y/n as her eyes slowly began to close. Her body and mind were exhausted, longing so deeply to embrace the darkness that crept upon her.

"Are you really falling asleep during my story?" Spencer spoke with a tired laugh, his rose petal lips turning at the corners. Y/n shook her head softly but once again began to close her eyes, the image of his smiling features blurring as the thought of sleep became more and more tempting.

"Keep talking" she spoke quietly, her words no more than a murmur as she began to cough into Spencer's shirt. 

"I remember when the team first found out we were together, Morgan came up to me and threatened to kill me if I hurt you." Spencer spoke in a fragile tone, his voice so soothing to y/n she found it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. The gentle notes lulling her closer to the rest that awaited, her approaching slumber was interrupted as she began to cough once again. 

Crimson danced upon the rose of her lips, the white of Spencer's shirt doused in scarlet. A loose tendril fell down her face, lying upon her slowly fluttering eyelashes. Spencer looked at her painful expression, the colour drained from her face, no longer filled with the beautiful shades of rouge that once danced upon her cheeks.

He brought a trembling hand slowly up, tucking the strand behind her ear. Y/n let out a torturous groan, he glanced down at his hand to see the crimson seeping slowly down his pale fingers, Spencer quickly reapplied pressure to the rapidly bleeding wound.

A frozen chill wracked through their bodies, the cool stone supplying no shelter from the harsh winter winds that nipped at their skin. Tears brimmed in Spencer's eyes as he gazed at his one true love, the woman he promised to be with forever. But the option of eternity had been ripped from them, by someone thirsty for blood, aching to hear the screams rip through y/n's throat as the bullet tore through her stomach. Longing to paint their dreams with the vile vermillion that poured relentlessly from her wounds, the pain of losing everything acting as a sick drug through her killers veins.

"Come on y/n. Please, don't leave me" he spoke, his words pleading to whatever cruel gods allowed this. Whoever let the most perfect woman die, someone who held no malice, an exquisite rose amongst harsh thorns who only ever wished to bring beauty and joy to the cruel world.

"I'm so tired Spence" y/n spoke in a whisper, a newfound rasp in her voice, tears of crimson slowly pouring from her lips. She could feel it, the breath slowly escaping her grasp as she fought desperately for one more moment. One more case, one more party at Rossi's, one more night in Spencer's arms, one last kiss. Each memory had never felt more precious, each butterfly she had ever felt, every word ever spoken, so meaningful as they slowly faded.

Y/n knew she was dying, but in that moment, as every single person, emotion, memory played in her mind she had never felt more alive. 

She knew the promises that she and Spencer had exchanged could never come true, the dreams of a future slowly passing.

"I know, but you gotta keep your eyes open, they'll be here soon. Just please, don't go to sleep" His caramel eyes glossed over, the deep amber slowly dulling as he watched y/n begin to slip away. He would have sold his soul in that moment, given anything just to watch the lights in her eyes glow once again. To watch the previously raging fire within return to its grandeur, but as he felt her grip on his arm loosen he knew what was happening.

"Sing to me, one more time" she spoke, each syllable a silent plea. He nodded solemnly as the pressure upon her wound remained unyielding. His voice came out broken, a shell of what it once was but as he sung, aware of the impending emptiness he poured every ounce of love he had ever felt into his notes. A painful melody filled with years of adoration, everlasting love, stolen futures.

"You are my sunshine"

"My only sunshine"

"You make me happy, when skies are gray"

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you"

"Please don't take my sunshine away" 

As his song ended, the last words settling in the air. He could feel y/n begin to lose her fight, the rose upon her features making their last appearance, still as precious as the first time he had ever bared witness to her effortless beauty.

Her body slowly went limp, one last gentle breath leaving her lips as she finally allowed the darkness to take over.

Allowed the once bright sun to set, no longer grand and magnificent. Now just an empty, desolate twilight.


	8. Forever

The air was filled with gentle music, each note dancing elegantly. Excited whispers were shared between family members as the melody slowly increased, as did Spencer's heart rate.

A nervous smile was spread across his pale lips, the realisation hitting him hard as the chapel doors slowly opened to reveal what he could only describe as the most breathtaking sight.

Y/n. Her hair falling in tendrils of h/c, flowing softly, framing her face as it blew in the wind. Her e/c eyes were sparkling brightly in the warm lights, her skin casted in a golden glow from the unrelenting sun that shone through the grand stained windows.

As he watched her, slowly walking down the aisle, a lovesick grin painted upon her face. It seemed as if every moment between them flooded him.

The vibrant blush across her cheeks on their first date, the beautiful shades of crimson and rose that made Spencer's heart swell in a way he never knew possible. The way his body burned with a newfound vigour the first time he felt her lips upon his.

He could still hear her voice as they belted out the lyrics to a song on the radio.

"What are you doing?" Spencer spoke with a wide grin, his eyes filled with such adoration as he gazed over at y/n. She ignored his question, continuing to fiddle the small knob on her car radio. Suddenly the volume increased majorly, a bright smile crossed her face as she began to sing the lyrics loudly.

"I'm so in love with you"

"I'll be forever blue"

She sang, her hands moving excitedly as she danced slightly in her seat. Spencer looked over at her, a sweet laugh escaping him as he realised for the first time just how truly in love with her he was.

He remembered the look on her face when he got down on one knee, the pure joy that filled her face as tears welled in her eyes. The way her hands trembled as he slid the ring on, the beautiful giggles that sounded in the air as he twirled her in his arms.

Snow fell softly on them, the warm lights glowing brightly as y/n and Spencer walked hand in hand through the park. The very same park where they had met, went on their first date, said I love you and now the place Spencer would make her his forever.

"Y/n" he spoke as he slowed to a stop, her nose was dusted rose from the cold that bit at her skin. A kind smile across her lips as she hummed in recognition.

Her e/c eyes remained on the lake infront, watching as the water danced to a song no one would ever hear. It's deep blue waves darkened to an endless obsidian as the twilights above cast everything in a beautiful shadow. A gentle cough is what dragged her from her trance, as she turned her breath caught in her throat and tears began to gather.

It was Spencer, a nervous smile on his slightly chapped lips as he crouched down on one knee.

"Y/n, I'm not very good at things like this and I'm prone to rambling incessantly and scaring people off but to be honest I don't think I can put how much I love you into words"

"Everything about you, your smile, your eyes, the way you read me my favourite books when I'm sad o-or how you always listen to my facts! Just each thing you do makes me fall even deeper in love with you and I don't think I could survive without you. So, y/f/n would you do me the honours of becoming my wife?" 

His voice cracked with emotion as he spoke, the words only truly showing a fraction of the love he had for her. 

That day was how he ended up where he was, the warm amber of his orbs glistening like gold as his eyes flooded with tears. 

He knew just how lucky he was, he had lost almost everyone, on a never ending coil of torment and agony. His life was so dark before, an infinite void that longed to embrace him in their arms of anguish.

But she had gotten there before they could, rescued him before the demons could poison every good thing. For she was the antidote, the light, the embodiment of everything pure and loveable and Spencer swore to spend eternity showering her in as much love and admiration as she truly deserved.

Because without her he knew his life would be entirely different, there would be no hearty laughs, no peaceful sleeps, everything he had grown to love was all thanks to her.

She had become the light in his life, the one thing that reminded him time and time again, that not everyone left. That he really did deserve the love she gave to him and so much more.

Y/n was his past, present and future. Spencer couldn't imagine what it would be like without her.

But now he didn't have to, because she truly was there, forever.


	9. In These Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to ‘Crazy’ by Patsy Cline whilst writing this so I recommend listening to it while reading ;)

A quiet jingle echoed through the air as Spencer placed the keys down on the small mahogany table by the door, he had recently returned from an exhausting case and his head was in agony, with each step another wave of pain washed over him.

"I'm home" he spoke with a half hearted smile, a light chuckle leaving his lips when he heard the soft patter of footsteps rapidly approaching. His eyes brightened as y/n came into view, her h/c hair tied up in a tattered bun, flour splashed across her face and a wide grin across her rose tinted lips.

"What happened?" Spencer spoke, the pain quickly dissipating as he forced a laugh down at her messy appearance. She giggle airily and scrunched her nose as she replayed the events in her head.

"Well, I know this case was hard so I thought I'd make you your favourite dish! But one thing led to another, and the food was on the floor and I had stained all the tea towels with wine" y/n laughed as she spoke, her face bright scarlet in embarrassment.

She quickly walked back towards the kitchen, her steps hurried and frantic as she gazed around the kitchen, she had seen just how exhausted he looked when he came in, his once shimmering golden orbs darkened to a dull amber. The bags under his eyes hung like deadweights, deep shades of crimson and amethyst painting across his sun kissed skin.

Y/n felt terrible, and it didn't help when Spencer slowly began to help tidy away. His movements were sluggish as his limbs dragged like lead as he picked up the scattered food. She tried to usher him away, let him finally relax but he was persistent, that was until something from across the room grabbed his attention.

Whilst y/n wiped down the bunkers, small crumbs falling on the cool tiled floor as she did so, Spencer slowly made his way over to the small record player that she had set up next to the couch. He sorted through the large collection of records the two had collected over time, arranging from David Bowie to Beethoven. His eyes lit up once again when he landed on the perfect song, the one they had danced to on their first date.

"What are you doing?" Y/n spoke with a kind laugh, drying her hands vigorously with one of the tea towels that was left unscathed from her accident earlier. Spencer broke from his trance, he carefully placed the record down, moving the arm at the edge before walking over to y/n.

"Forget dinner, I just want to dance with you" a genuine smile was painted across his lips, gentle shades of rose tinting his ears and nose. Y/n nodded meekly as the music began to play, the melody floating in the air as the pair began to slowly sway in tow.

Spencer swirled y/n, her body twirling surprisingly elegantly from the sudden turning. He laughed gently as she returned to her previous stance, her hands linked behind his neck, toying with the small caramel curls that sat at the nape of his neck. His were grasping tightly at her waist, something as simple as his touch proving to y/n that he never wanted to let her go. 

It was a silent promise, his embrace so pure and unwavering. Times like those, were everything to the couple. For in those moments it seemed as everything just stopped.

All worries nothing but figments of their imagination.

The worlds seemed to stop spinning.

Just to allow the young lovers a moment of bliss, feel the love that filled the small apartment.

To truly appreciate just how lucky they were, that they had found someone that matched them so effortlessly. The ying to their yang, the sun to their moon.


	10. The Reid Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna use the name Elora in this fic for the daughters name since it's my fav name but you're free to change it if you want!

Y/n never imagined having a kid so young, especially not with a man like him. But now four years later, things were finally going okay. 

She had finally gotten her dream job, an apartment large enough to accommodate her and Elora, and she had managed to meet someone who y/n knew from the moment they met was her soulmate.

There was only one problem, the person she had fallen madly in love with seemed to have an affect on women, animals and sadly, children. It was know as 'The Reid Effect', or that was what Spencer's coworkers labelled it. Y/n was unbelievably nervous that Elora wouldn't like Spencer, and what made it even worse was that she had an important shift and the only person free to look after her was of course Spencer Reid.

————————————————————————

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Y/n questioned, a nervous frown on her face as she fiddled with the buttons on her uniform. Her hair fell in rugged tendrils of h/c, the strands knotted from her desperate gripping as her mind swarmed.

A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder, she lifted her head slowly and couldn't help but smile at the sight. Spencer's caramel hair was slicked back, his thick glasses shielding the rich amber of his eyes from the world, his long lashes batting uncomfortably against the panes.

"It's going to be fine! I mean I'm a little nervous, what if she doesn't like me? O-or if I talk to much?" He rambled, his voice raising an octave as his hands waved frantically in the air.

"She's going to love you Spence. Now I need to get going" Y/n spoke softly, her hand gently cradling his face. She leaned up and quickly pecked Spencer on the lips before rushing down the hall as she realised just how late she was running.

"Bye honey! Be good for Spencer" she called as she sprinted through the door, the heels of her boots echoing through the empty hall. Y/n could hear the sweet voice of her daughter calling out to her as the latch clicked shut. 

"Hey Elora" Spencer spoke in his softest voice, he kneeled down to her level and gave her a small wave as he watched the little girl pad through the room towards him. Her hair sat in wild curls of obsidian, eyes like sapphires gazed sweetly at Spencer's nervous figure.

"Hi" she spoke, her cheeks painted scarlet as she waved back at Spencer. Her baby blue pyjamas hung loosely on her small body, pastel pink slippers that squeaked every time she stepped. Spencer chuckled lightly to himself as he looked at her attire, his shirt and blazer suddenly feeling uncomfortable as he watched her cozy into the small blanket around her shoulders.

"Mummy said you do magic! Can I see?" She spoke sweetly, her voice high pitched and delicate as a bright smile crossed her cheerful face. Spencer's eyes lit up with happiness as he whipped out his new pack of cards from his swede jacket pocket. Elora squealed and giggled in excitement as he began to twirl the cards between his fingers, watching as they disappeared and reappeared again.

————————————————————————

The sound of keys jingling ricocheted through the apartment as y/n unlocked the door, a loud yawn escaping her lips as she rubbed tiredly at her eyes. Her hair had fallen out of its ponytail and now fell messily against her exhausted face.

She dragged her aching limbs through the corridor, following the trail of scattered toys that led through to the living room. No noise could be heard from the apartment other than the subtle buzzing coming from the TV.

"Spencer? Are you there?" She called softly, her voice hoarse and dry. Y/n slipped her shoes off as she slowly walked into the carpet covered room, she cursed quietly under her breath as a small piece of Lego stabbed into the sole of her bare foot. 

"On the couch" a voice whispered followed by a quiet sniffle, y/n could see his playful curls no longer gelled back peeking over the couch, the dim lights of the living room deepening them to a rich gold shade. His tie and blazer had been splayed across the small armchair, his shoes were neatly placed in front and a stack of cards sat sprawled upon the dark wooden table.

Y/n's heart stammered when she heard what sounded like a small cry come from Spencer, her footsteps rapidly approaching. She was about to question what was wrong when her eyes landed on the most wholesome sight she had ever seen.

Elora was cuddled into Spencer's side, her small legs entwined with his longer ones. Quiet snores slipped through her lips as she nuzzled her nose into the fabric of his shirt. Y/n glanced up at Spencer with a heart warmed smile, it faltered massively when she saw the tears that clouded his amber orbs.

"What's wrong Spence?" Her voice was quiet in hopes not to wake up the sleeping toddler, she placed a careful hand on his causing his eyes to flicker from Elora to her. 

"W-well we were playing with her dolls, a-and then she-" he stopped speaking as drops of crystal poured from his eyes, he wiped them furiously before they could fall onto the sleeping girl. Y/n's face filled with fear, her grasp on his thin hand tightening as he began giggling softly to himself.

"Spence you're scaring me, what happened?" Y/n brushed a stray curl from her daughters face, eliciting a quiet hum from the little girl.

"Sh-she called me daddy" his voice broke as a warm smile painted his lips. Deep shades of crimson painted his pale face as he chuckled in embarrassment, his heart fluttered as he replayed the image in his head. 

"are you okay with that?" Y/n spoke uncertainly, a small frown on her slightly chapped lips. Spencer chuckled softly as he began to play with the raven curls that spread across his lap. 

"She's gonna be my little girl" tears began to fall once again as he looked up at y/n, her wide smile reassurance enough.

The pair both looked down lovingly at the girl, their hearts swelling as they gazed at their newfound family. 

"I guess the Reid effect isn't real then" Spencer spoke, placing a gentle kiss on Elora's forehead before settling back into his previous position, watching as the toddler mumbled incoherently in her slumber and cuddled Spencer's thin frame even tighter.


	11. Don’t Let Her Forget Me

"Don't let her forget me"

Those were the last words Spencer Reid ever spoke. 

The team had been close to the end of a case, all they had left to do was make an arrest.

Of course what they didn't expect was for the unsub to start firing, and especially not for one of the bullets to hit someone.

Y/n could steal remember the screams as they echoed through the warehouse, the sudden thud of a body and the desperate call of her name.

She could still feel his heavy breaths as they wracked painfully through his torn throat. How his hands grasped at hers, his pleading for another chance at life. He was finally happy, he had found y/n and fallen in love so quickly and she too had became entranced by him. The pair had gotten married within months of being together and after two blissful years of marriage, his daughter was born.

That little girl was the light of his life, an ever glowing ball of sunshine. Her rose painted cheeks forever scrunched from her bright smile, her eyes like pools of gold, just like her dads. Her hair fell in thick tendrils of h/c across her face and her mind was extraordinary. She was incredibly smart, and nothing made Spencer happier than when d/n would beg him to read to her before she went to sleep.

And as the words slipped past his lips, all he could think about, was the fact he would never be able to read to her once again. Never watch her eyes gleam with wonder as he unpacked a new book, or hear her precious giggles as he spoke in silly tones. Never see her dance and twirl around the living room wearing one of his cardigans, it flowing like a gown across her tiny figure. He could handle dying, but he couldn't handle the thought of his little girl growing up without a dad, he knew what it was like and he wished the pain upon no one. 

"Don't let her forget me"

Those words played in y/n's mind constantly, like a cruel mantra, a broken record that refused to stop spinning, condemning her to a life of agony.

Silent sobs poured from her body as she curled in on herself, drops of the purest crystal flowing from her eyes and soaking her pillow.

A large leather bound book sat within her trembling grasp, her fingers paling as she gripped the pages tighter with each broken cry. 

"Why are you crying?" A gentle voice broke the silence, her words groggy and laced with exhaustion. Y/n glanced up and smiled softly at the sight, her daughter, d/n stood in her doorway. One of her dads old Star Wars shirts hanging like a drape against her petite frame, her wild curls sat rugged and scrunched upon her head.

Y/n was about to deny her toddlers claim, quickly hide the book before her watchful eyes could spot it and whisk her back off to bed, when Spencer's words replayed again. Don't let her forget me.

She gave a half hearted smile and released her grip on the cover, warmth filling her as she watched her daughter pad softly towards her.

"I want to show you something" y/n spoke, carefully scooping d/n into her arms and cradling her gently, her hands returning their grip on the book. She placed a small kiss on her daughters head, smiling as the little girl released a content hum.

Y/n slowly opened the book, the sound of plastic peeling from one another sounding in the air as she pulled the pages open. D/n released a small gasp before pointing at one of the pictures on the page. It was when y/n first joined the team, she had managed to solve the case unbelievably quick so to celebrate they all took her out for a drink, as a form of welcoming to their family.

"That's uncle Derek! and auntie Penelope!" D/n giggled sweetly as she pointed at the pair, Derek's arm was swung around both Penelope and Emily's shoulders, wide smiles on all their faces. The toddler spent the next minute announcing the names of the people in the photograph until she suddenly went quiet.

"What's wrong baby?" Y/n cooed gently as she stroked her hair, she could hear a soft sniffle coming from d/n, such a simple sound so heart wrenching to y/n as she looked at where she was pointing.

"You look so happy" y/n could feel tears begin to well up behind her eyes as her daughters sweet voice spoke. 

"That's the day I first met your daddy, and the day I fell in love with him" y/n gazed at the picture, chuckling quietly as she saw Spencer's slicked back hair, the thick square glasses on his face, the only thing that stood out to her though, was his smile. His lips like the most precious of rose petals, blushed in a permanent rose, softer than silk, and much to y/n's chagrin when they first kissed, completely doused in Vaseline.

"I miss daddy" d/n cried softly to herself, she turned in her mother's embrace, nuzzling her nose into the soft material of her pyjama shirt.

"I do too baby, but you know he's always going to be watching over you, making sure you stop stealing biscuits out of the cupboard" y/n began to slowly tickle her daughter as her sentence ended, her excited giggles so much better than the desolate cries that sounded only moments ago. The sound like music to y/n's ears, the joy in the air as d/n squirmed playfully out of her ticklish hold.

She could almost hear Spencer's mock cries as he played around with d/n, pretending he had been captured by magical creatures, or been wounded so deeply by her comments. And for the first time in a while, a genuine laugh came from y/n, not one filled with deceit and false confirmations, a true, genuine, hearty laugh. 

Because she knew that no matter what happened, neither her nor d/n could every really forget the man that had loved and been loved so eternally.


	12. You Can’t Hear Me

A constant beeping, that's all she could hear, that's all she had heard for hours.

No matter how hard she tried, her eyes refused to open, a constant twilight embracing her. Her eyelids seemed like they were made of lead, so unbearably heavy and her mind was exhausted. Like she could feel it slowly turning off, watch as the light slowly faded from her concealed eyes.

Y/n couldn't remember what happened entirely. Just the sound of a bullet tearing through the air, the unbelievable agony that surged through her as it pierced her skin. Then darkness.

When she had first awoken she could hear the quiet chatter of doctors, a smile desperate to show on her face when she heard them talking about the team that were crowding the waiting room, eager to see her. But it was if she was unable to move her body, she was nothing more than her consciousness, like a ghost looming over, forced to watch as her life slowly slipped from her grasp.

Now all she could hear was that stupid beeping, a monotonous sound that brought even more pain to her already aching body. The irritating loop was interrupted by the sound of a door opening, careful footsteps ushering towards her, soft sniffles and cries coming from whoever was now sitting beside her.

"H-hey y/n" the recognisable voice spoke, a tremor evident in his wavering tone. She could feel his feather light touch on her hand, how she longed to intertwine their fingers and show she was here.

"The doctor said that I should talk to you, that maybe you could hear me. She also said, sh-she said that you're-" his speech was broken off by a heart wrenching sob, his grip tightening around her limp hand. Y/n could feel as tears dripped from his eyes, dancing across her skin in pools of crystal.

He exhaled deeply and sniffled once again before continuing, his hold on her hand remaining just as tight, as if to ground himself.

"She said you're dying. They put you in the coma b-but you're not improving. Why y/n? Why did you have to jump in front of me? This should be me, not you" it seemed to suddenly click for y/n, she remembered seeing the unsub with his gun trained on Spencer, the overwhelming urge to protect the man she loved so dearly, even if it cost her her life.

"I-I don't know what I'm gonna do without you y/n/n. The doctor said to say anything we wanted to say incase something happened, a-and I wish I had just found the courage to say this before" y/n's slow, laboured heart beats increased slightly as he spoke. Her eyes watering behind their confines, she wanted to reach out to him, wipe the precious tears off his face and tell him it would all be okay.

"I love you y/n. I have for years a-and now I'm losing you and I feel so stupid! why couldn't I have just told you how much I loved you" painful sobs wracked his body as he lifted y/n's cold hands, he watched as the heart monitor began to slow, he could practically feel the soul he loved so much be ripped from her unconscious body.

"I love everything about you. Your eyes, your smile, the way you always let me borrow your favourite books, o-or how you cuddle into me on the jet because you think my hair is super soft and you like to play with it" y/n was internally screaming, no pain was as unbearable as this, watching the man she loved admit his feelings, knowing she would never be able to show him just how much she adored him. For she was trapped, her body now a withering cage she was ensnared in, destined to watch it crumble around her, and to fall alongside it.

"And I know it's silly to think you'd ever love me back, you're so perfect and I'm weird, and skinny and annoying. But to imagine for a second, that you could hear me, that you loved me even a fraction as much as I loved you. It's silly, I know. I just wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I never told you"

"I-I'm scared y/n. Utterly terrified. My mind is a scary place, and I don't want to have to face it alone, I'm scared of myself, what I'll become when you leave me. I'm lost without you, and my brain is so dark, and you're the light that makes it so much easier, what's going to happen when I lose my way and don't have you to save me?" Y/n listened intently, ignoring how laboured her breathing suddenly became. How heavy her chest felt, she could feel the crimson rivers that ran through her body begun to slow. But all she could think of was how broken Spencer sounded.

She did love him, she always had and always would.

But he would never know that, instead he was forced to accept that he had just lost his light. Experience the insurmountable agony that came with losing your love, feel the sudden yet painfully slow drop of their limbs.

Watch the beautiful shades of rose and scarlet that once painted their faces dull and darken.

Hear the last exhausted breath leave their paled lips, ones he would never have the joy of experiencing. 

See the heart rate machine change so drastically, hear as the ear piercing, heart wrenching, mind numbing flat line buzz filled the air, echoing through the ice cold walls of the hospital room.

Feel the torturous cries as they ripped through his throat, his pleads falling to deaf ears as all the light was drained from his life. Condemning him to a life of anguish, agony and isolation.


	13. Dreams

A content hum left y/n's lips, her body basking in the warmth of the duvets, the soft fabric feeling heavenly as it rubbed against her skin.

She could hear the soft snores of Spencer as they slipped through his nose, occasionally increasing in volume as he gripped y/n tighter in his sleep. His curls were splayed half hazardously across the smooth pillows, the stark white contrasting with the golden tendrils that lay upon it.

Y/n traced the freckles on his face with her eyes, a beautiful constellation that danced upon his rose tinted complexion. His lips were tightened into a childish pout, his nose wrinkling as he dug his face into y/n's shirt.

She chuckled slightly as he murmured incoherent nonsense in his slumber, the words spoken in a rough, deep tone.

Y/n allowed herself to close her eyes once again, feeling as the sunlight burst through the window and casted the pair in a golden glow. She could hear a rustling as she kept her eyes shut tight, only opening when the body beside her suddenly went rigid.

A cool chill wracked her body as she opened her eyes, her breath catching in her throat as she gazed at Spencer's new found form.

His once sun kissed skin had gone pale, shades of amethyst and obsidian painting his eyes. His lips were chapped and bleeding, his mouth weeping tears of crimson as his eyes gazed into y/n's. They were lifeless, cold, the once magnificent amber orbs reduced to a dark brown, it's shine gone as they pierced into her e/c eyes.

Y/n looked down when she felt a sudden feeling brush her fingertips, no longer sat the warm material of Spencer's shirt, now they were doused in a rich scarlet. Her hands shook as they desperately pressed against Spencer's stomach, trying to aid the wound, but the rivers of crimson were merciless as they poured relentlessly down his body.

"You could have saved me" his voice spoke, his words harsh and biting as they tore through his throat. Tears welled in y/n's eyes as she brought her hand up to cradle his beaten face, the skin frozen beneath her grasp.

"You could have saved me" he yelled once again, small drops spitting out at y/n as his face grew enraged. He gripped her wrist tightly as he screamed the same words, over and over.

"It's all your fault" he spoke softly, his decaying hands slowly creeping up to her face, his delicate touch wiping the streams of crystal that flowed down y/n's cheeks. Spencer's grasp suddenly moved from her face, a tight grip around her throat, his hands slowly ripping the air from her lungs.

"It's all your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault." He spoke like a mantra, delirious whispers fleeing him as he gripped y/n's throat tighter. She could feel as the breath within her lungs slowly slipped, desperate gasps and pleads sounding in the air as she clawed recklessly at his hands.

Just as she could feel the twilights approach, she shot awake. Her hands immediately gripping her throat as the air flooded her lungs. Her body trembled violently as she thought of what she had just dreamt, a reoccurring nightmare that had been festering since he had died.

She lay back down, shaking slightly as she reached over to what was previously his side of the bed. His old jumped sitting in a heap beside his pillow, she cradled it desperately, burying her nose into the soft material.

Y/n inhaled deeply, aching to smell the smell that once resided upon the fabric. The smell of old books, coffee and his cologne. But as she gripped the clothing she found that it had left, no longer there to bring the same comfort he once did.

Heavy sobs wracked her body as she scrunched the jumper in her hands, the image of his slowly bleeding body forever imprinted within her mind. His painful screams on a loop, a constant cycle of agony that y/n was destined to be stuck on forever.

For now not only was he gone, so was everything that could bring solace to y/n's aching soul. Nothing to stop the floods as they streamed down her exhausted face. To hold her as she screamed and sobbed, cursing the world for taking him away.


	14. Tickled and Toothpaste

Being best friends with Spencer Reid had its ups and downs. Sure, sometimes he was a grumpy little shit, his sleep schedule was absolutely appalling and he was prone to bottling up each and every emotion until it burst, coming out in confusing tidal waves that threatened to drown the recipient of the pent up rage, sadness, longing.

But the late night dancing, sharing books and constant cuddling cancelled out all of the cons of knowing the young genius.

Spencer and y/n's mothers had been best friends, ultimately leading to the pairs inevitable friendship. As they grew up, Spencer and y/n spent every single waking, and sleeping, moment together. Each morning being filled with wide grins, tight hugs and splattered toothpaste, much to their parents chagrin.

The older they got though, the more their feelings morphed into that of a newfound love. They had always loved one another, they knew that. But eventually they began craving the others presence, aching to feel the sugar sweet touch of their lips.

After years, and years of mutual pining, Spencer had confessed his love for y/n. She could still remember how scared he was, his thin fingers twirling absentmindedly as his golden gaze was casted towards the ground, rose petal lips torn from his incessant biting.

The gentle, nervous giggles that sounded in the air as he blushed the deepest shades of scarlet. How his voice wavered, tears welling in his eyes as he prepared for her harsh words to bite him, for her to say the words he so desperately wished he would never have to hear. But he never would.

For he could forever repeat her response, see her eyes as they filled with joy, feel Aphrodite's kiss for the very first time, launching him into a world of bliss.

"𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜𝑜"

——//——

A soft hum left y/n's lips as she nuzzled further into the fabric of Spencer's jumper, the scent of honey, coffee and cologne invading her sleep ridden senses. She could hear the quiet snores as they escaped Spencer's slightly agape mouth as they brushed against her exposed neck. 

His freckled nose was buried deep within the tendrils of h/c that splayed across the pillows. Y/n chuckled airily as Spencer gripped her tighter in his sleep, a subconscious smile crossing his face and a content hum slipping through his lips.

"Hey Bub. We should probably get up if we wanna catch that movie" she whispered in his ear, watching as a childish pout crossed his face and he tightened his grip on her body.

"Nope. Cuddles" he began placing feather light kisses on her neck, his lips soft and warm as they littered pecks all over her face. She giggled once again as she fought the temptation to snuggle into his arms again, bask in the warmth of his embrace.

"Spence. Don't tempt me, come on let's get up" y/n tore herself from his loving grip, a chill wracking her body as Spencer intertwined his fingers with hers, pulling lightly to drag her back to bed.

Y/n walked over, giving Spencer a quick kiss before pulling away with a disgusted grimace.

"Bub, come on you need to brush your teeth" Spencer scrunched his nose up in disapproval, covering his face with the thick duvets, only his golden curls peaking from beneath the sheet.

"I won't kiss you for a week if you don't get up and brush your teeth" y/n spoke in a mock stern tone, hands on hips as she tried to retain her stoic expression. 

Spencer jumped from his bed immediately, newfound purpose in his bones. His hair stood in wild tufts, jumper hanging loosely off his thin frame.

"Don't even think about it" his brows furrowed in anger as he chased y/n through the house. His bare feet padding against the wooden floors, screams filled the air as she ran hopelessly from Spencer. He laughed loudly with a wide smile, it growing brighter somehow as he captured y/n in the bathroom.

"I'm sorry Spence! I was joking!" She squealed as he began to mercilessly tickle her sides, her laughter and pleads warming Spencer's heart as he finally stopped his torture.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, a cheeky grin on his face. He towered dramatically over her, caramel curls draping over his eyes as he peered down at her joy filled face.

He gently kissed her once again, ignoring her complaints about morning breath as he continued to peck her lips over and over again. Once he began to deepen the kiss, hand raising to slip between the h/c strands as he pulled y/n impossibly closer. He suddenly pulled away, sticking his tongue out and shaking his head.

"What?" Her face was slightly worried as she gazed at his disgusted expression.

"Morning breath" he chuckled and released his grip on her, reaching for his toothbrush and handing y/n hers.

"Told you" she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek quickly, watching as his frown transformed to a handsome grin and deep shades of crimson painted his cheeks.

"I love you, you know that right?" Spencer said as he gazed down loving at y/n, toothbrush hanging limply from his mouth.

"I love you too" she spoke, kissing him quickly before wiping a streak of toothpaste on his nose, he shrieked, bringing his hand to cradle his cheek before glaring at y/n. 

"You're gonna regret that".


	15. Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I warn you I have never been to Disneyland so if there's loads of mistakes please don't come for me!! Also the little girl is called Alba in this so feel free to change it :)

Spencer chuckled softly to himself as excited giggles filled the car, his heart melting as he watched the small girl from the rear view mirror. Alba, y/n's daughter from a previous relationship, was bouncing up and down in her seat. Her wild h/c curls jumping with her, her eyes filled with such immeasurable glee as she watched Spencer pull into the car park.

As the car stopped, the brakes of his old car squeaking slightly as he pulled them, he looked over at y/n. Her face was just as joyful as her daughters, her e/c eyes scanning their surroundings with such wonder and amazement. The rings in his pocket suddenly felt apparent as he gazed at the woman he longed to spend the rest of his life with.

"You ready to go?" He spoke with a wide grin, turning in his seat to look at Alba. She gripped the mickey ears tightly within her grasp, their black sequins shining brightly in the sun.

She nodded frantically, hair thrashing around as she began to unbuckle her seatbelt, falling slightly from the seat and onto the floor. Spencer laughed airily as he rushed to her side of the car, picking her up from her position on the floor and squeezing her tightly in his arms. The girl let out a sugar sweet giggle, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as Spencer walked over to where y/n stood.

"I've been replaced" y/n spoke with a feigned sad expression, hand grasping her chest in mock betrayal. Her facade faded when Alba quickly squirmed from Spencer's loving grasp, rushing forward and grabbing her mums hand tightly in one hand and Spencer's in the other. 

"Can we go see the Star Wars things?" She said as she swung her parents hands to and fro, a bright grin across her rose kissed cheeks.

"Don't tell me you made her watch Star Wars" y/n groaned as she turned to Spencer, raising her eyebrows as he cast his gaze to his feet, scarlet painting his cheeks as he realised he'd been caught.

"I had to get her to watch it! She kept calling me a nerd for loving it so much so I decided to show her just how awesome it is" He lifted his unoccupied hand in defence, flashing his innocent golden eyes at y/n and smirking at how quickly her expression softened.

Just as she was about to let it go, continue on with their day, Alba suddenly spoke up.

"Kylo Ren is very very pretty though" her voice was interrupted by Spencer's loud burst of laughter, he scooped her up in his arms as he watched y/n's face transform into shock.

"Spencer you're supposed to stop her from crushing on boys never mind getting her to fancy men thirty years older than her!" She called after the pair, Spencer's long legs helping them escape the menacing glare being sent their way.

Y/n quickly began to chase after them, following the sound of their precious giggles and the occasional appearance of Spencer's caramel curls.

———///———

They had been there for hours, the sun no longer an endless ocean, now it was painted in shades of crimson and gold, the low sun casting everything in a magnificent glow.

Spencer had yet to find the courage to ask the question he had planned to ask, to busy stuffing his face with the most delectable of treats and nearly throwing them up on the ridiculous rides y/n forced them to go on.

As they approached the castle though, he slowed down slightly, just allowing himself a moment to admire the pair.

Y/n and Alba were hand in hand, dancing to quiet music that played from an unknown place, their laughter filling the air as they twirled and curtsied. His heart swelled, and tears formed in his eyes as he watched them, only wiping them away when Alba suddenly ran up to him and wrapped her tiny arms around his leg.

"Will you dance with us? Mummy's not very good" she pouted playfully as she scrunched her nose and stuck her tongue out at her mum. Spencer threaded his hand through her hair before walking towards y/n, her smile striking him in the chest and flooding his mind with the most blissful of thoughts.

One hand was buried deep within his pocket, fiddling nervously with the two rings that sat there. One significantly smaller than the other.

He always knew, from the moment he met y/n, that she was the one. That he couldn't survive without the effortless light she gave, she was magnificent in everything she did and he was completely in awe. So when he found out she had a daughter, he found himself falling for her even faster. Seeing the way she acted around Alba made his heart skip a beat, and his chest ache. He had always wanted children, but never had them. Alba had became his little girl, the one he could read to sleep, and tickle until tears of joy welled in their eyes, cuddle with after a long case. So that's why he had planned on asking her a question first, if she would become his baby, his Angel, the second love of his life.

"Alba, can I ask you something" he whispered in her ear, her soft hair tickling his nose as he hugged her tightly. She nodded happily, her shoes clicking as they made contact with the ground.

Spencer exhaled deeply before going down on one knee, smiling softly when he heard both y/n and Alba gasp. He pulled the smaller ring out of his pocket, a delicate silver band with her favourite colour gem on top. He had splashed a little on both of their rings, just to see the way their eyes lit up as they squealed with excitement.

"I was wondering. If you would be my little girl? And if you will, if I could have your blessing to ask your mummy to marry me?" He spoke with a nervous grin, seeing y/n cover her mouth in his peripheral vision.

"Does that mean you're gonna be my dad?" Alba spoke quietly, her e/c eyes drifting up to Spencer's honey iris'. 

"If you want me to be" he wobbled slightly from his stance, quickly regaining balance and looking at Alba with a gentle smile. She giggled brightly and nodded as he wrapped her arms around his neck, her small body wrapping around Spencer's as he held her tightly.

Once he had placed the ring on Alba's finger, he turned to y/n as the young girl gazed in amazement at the jewellery. 

"Y/n, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I never imagined myself being so happy as I am with you, you make my life so unbelievably great a-and I want to spend every day showing you just how much I love you. So, will you, y/f/n, do me the honours of becoming my wife?" His voice wavered and cracked as his eyes brimmed with tears, joy and fear washing over him in confusing waves.

"Yes, oh my god yes" y/n laughed as she embraced Spencer tightly, his thin arms wrapping around her waist and spinning in quick circles. He pulled away from her grip, allowing himself to gaze into her eyes. He leaned forward, kissing her softly as their grins peaked through.

A small "gross" is what pulled them apart, their eyes locking on a disgusted Alba, clearly not happy with her parents kiss. Y/n stuck her tongue out at the girl, pecking feather light kisses all over Spencer's face and smiling as she felt the young girl intercept their embrace.

Spencer looked down at the two, a loving smile on his face, his heart swelling as he cuddled the two girls tightly. His girls.


	16. Be With Her

T.W ~ Mentions of Blood, Suicide and Guns, please don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable.

The cold, harsh wind nipped at Spencer's nose, leaving it rose tinted and stinging. His body shook slowly as chills and sobs wracked through him, merciless crystalline rivers flowing down his ghostly pale skin.

His hands trembled violently as they clutched the small gun, grip agonisingly tight, like a silent prayer in his hold. Desperate pleads for her to return, reassure him that she wasn't going anywhere, embrace him tightly, let him feel the life saving kiss he so needed.

But she wasn't there anymore, for she now walked amongst angels. But the heavens above would forever pale in the sheer ethereality of her. For she was a goddess in the eyes of the love struck boy, someone with such unfathomable grace and divinity that it left Spencer breathless.

She had been the one thing keeping Spencer afloat, wiped away the painful tears that threatened to drown him with their cruel relentlessness. But now that she was gone, he could feel himself slipping, losing his already weak grip on reality, leaving him dangerously close to delirium.

He exhaled shakily, diverting his once golden gaze towards the skies. Endless twilights painted across the sky, magnificent stars shining across the raven canvas. Constellations with stories hidden deep within, years and years away shone the brightest of lights that no one would ever have the pleasure of seeing.

He closed his eyes, feeling as the wind blew his hair across his head with a newfound ferocity. The rich navy fabric of his tie dancing to the unheard symphony of the wind, a song so beautiful that no one deserved to experience.

That's what Spencer imagined death to be like, there was no heaven, no prancing amongst the clouds as the skies forever shone perfect hues. Rather, it was an oblivion. A state of the utmost consciousness and obliviousness all at once, a place where you could finally see the breeze as it brushed through the cities, hear the melodies with which the oceans twirled to.

"Beautiful, isn't it" a soft voice spoke, one so painfully recognisable. One he knew he shouldn't be hearing, but no matter the circumstances would forever bring solace to his aching soul.

"You shouldn't be here" his voice cracked as he felt gentle rivers drip down his face. He daren't open his eyes, she shouldn't be here, he had already watched her leave once.

"But you should be" her voice like the sweetest honey to his ears, his gaze now bore into the flashing lights of the street, cars squeaking in the far distance. He turned towards her, eyes of e/c looking straight through him with the most unbearably pure affection. It hurt to see her with such unwavering love within the once bright, excited orbs of her eyes. For in his mind he could have saved her, ran just that little bit faster. It should have been him that screamed in agony, his body that should have been weeping the unmerciful tears of crimson. 

For she had once been the most precious of roses, petals of angelic white and soothing to the eyes. But as the bullet tore through her chest, the pearlescent flower slowly turned the shade of deep scarlet, it's bloom now like sharp rubies that wept from its stem. 

"I-I can't do it without you y/n" he lifted the gun in his hands, his trembling fingers threatening him as they moved dangerously close to the trigger. He blinked slowly, allowing the tears that had been trapped upon his eyelashes to flow freely down his face.

"Why did it have to be you y/n? It should have been me, it's all my fault" his voice cracked as he gazed at y/n. Her hair sitting perfectly upon her shoulders, unaffected by the brutal lashings the wind blew at them.

"It's not your fault and it doesn't matter when we meet again, just know, that I will love you forever" her hand brushed airily over Spencer's trembling fingers, the touch ghostly and ice cold, sending shivers through his body.

He closed his eyes tightly, allowing the forced twilights to calm his whirling mind. He didn't need to open them again to know she was gone, he could feel the torturous emptiness within his soul, it stabbing deep into his heart and mind as he felt all hope drain him. Even before now, he was a shell of the man he once was. 

The man who rambled incessant facts in shrill, excited tones. Who performed magic to kids just to see the gleeful smiled upon their cheery, blush tinted faces. Because without her it was if everything was casted in a permanent shadow, forever darkened, seeping with poison, destined to bring pain to his body and tears to his eyes.

So as the gunshot rang through the air, the piercing bang as it ricocheted through the desolate city.

He didn't care that he would no longer be able to do those things, feel the sun as it warmed his skin, hear the warm laughs of his family and friends.

Because now, he would finally get to be with her.

And that's all that mattered.


	17. Quiet Moments

~ Brought to you by Meadow who is currently trying not to scream cause she has deadass the worst cramps in the world rn ~

Spencer always looked forward to coming home, hearing the excited cheers as he entered the threshold would always bring a smile to his face. So as he walked in, throwing his keys half hazardously into the small dark wooden bowl, he was flooded with worry when all he was met with was distant groaning and the sound of blankets shuffling.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" his voice cracked as worry flooded him, the sound of her pain filled moaning growing increasingly louder. His now bare feet padded against the carpeted floors, the only noise being that of the sleeves of his blazer rubbing against the torso. 

His brows furrowed when he reached the living room, there was no blood in sight, no breakages or anything that he had previously been worried that he would find. Rather, y/n was laying down upon the cool leather sofa, a thin scarlet blanket wrapped tightly around her contorted frame. Her h/c hair peaked slightly from its cover, splashing wildly against the raven fabric of the seat.

Quiet whimpers sounded from beneath the sheet, noises so simple yet so heartbreaking to Spencer's ears. He kneeled down carefully, cursing airily under his breath as he thumped his knee against the glass table beside him. Spencer brought a cautious hand up, slowly peeling away the fabric to reveal y/n, skin stained rose and the remnants of shed tears still shining upon her face.

"Hey Spence" she greeted with a half hearted grin, it faltering as she winced in pain. Her legs curled tighter to her chest, hands cradling her abdomen as she inhaled deeply. Spencer frowned at the sight, bringing his hand up to cradle her face, rubbing soft circles on the skin.

"What's wrong?" He questioned meekly, he was almost entirely sure of what was going on but wanted to be sure before he took action. Y/n groaned as another agonising wave of pain washed over her, curling in impossibly closer and closing her eyes.

"Cramps" she spoke in a whisper, the pain increasing with each movement of her body. She watched through lidded eyes as Spencer nodded, he placed a feather light kiss to her forehead before standing and walking towards the kitchen.

No more than five minutes later he had returned, arms piled high and an adoring smile on his face. He fell to his knees beside her again, meticulously rummaging through the pile in front of him before gripping a small box of paracetamol.

He silently raised a glass of cold water to y/n, smiling as she quickly downed the tablets alongside the drink. Once she had taken the medication he quickly rid himself of the uncomfortable tie and blazer that clung to his exhausted body, the fabric feeling unbearably constricting as he moved around.

Spencer ungracefully flopped down onto the couch beside y/n, a subconscious groan slipping through his chapped lips as he rested his limbs for a moment. Y/n chuckled softly from beside him, laughing even harder when Spencer childishly stuck his tongue out at her judgemental gaze.

"Come here" He opened his arms out expectantly at the girl, giggling lightly to himself as she eagerly moved to within his embrace. Y/n sighed as she wrapped her arms around his thin frame, the overwhelmingly comforting scent of coffee and cologne invading her sleep ridden senses.

Spencer quickly turned on the TV, watching as the fluorescent lights illuminated y/n's features. Her h/c hair flowing softly down her shoulders, skin painted rouge and her lips slightly parted while she watched the show on the screen with the utmost attention.

He much preferred seeing this side of her, the one that wasn't cringing in pain, instead she was tracing the intricate patterns of the veins in his hands as they gripped her waist tightly. Pressing gentle yet loving kisses on his neck as she nuzzled further into his arms, basking in the warmth he emitted and sighing contentedly whenever he would kiss her temple.

He loved the quiet moments like this, where y/n would allow him to shower her in the love and affection she deserved. Because to Spencer nothing compared to being able to hold her, feeling the beating of her heart as he looked at her with an adoring gaze and lovesick grin.

He loved y/n wholeheartedly and would cherish each moment with her as if it were his last.


	18. Diana Emily Reid

A shrill wail is what pulled Spencer's gaze from his wife's hand. Her excruciatingly tight grip finally releasing his hand, the blood flowing eagerly through his veins once again.

He gasped as a wide smile painted his face, watching as a nurse cradled his newborn daughter with a dry towel, carefully wiping her scarlet flushed face and cooing quietly at the child in her arms. 

The blonde haired nurse walked carefully over to where y/n lay, her h/c hair sprawled wildly across the sterile white pillows, face dripping with sweat and mouth agape as she heaved in heavy breaths. Spencer had never seen a sight so beautiful.

Y/n opened her arms to hold her daughter, giggling airily to herself as the baby wriggled slightly in her arms. The rugged h/c tendrils that swayed softly with the gentle breeze flowing through the window tickled her daughters head as she gazed lovingly down at her.

Spencer walked slowly over to where y/n sat, rubbing a comforting hand across the tense muscles of his wife's back as he watched the pair. The wild caramel curls upon his head hung in front of his face, brushing against the porcelain skin.

"Do you want to hold her?" Y/n questioned, her voice hoarse and wavering from the hours of screaming, her body aching after the seemingly never ending agony had ripped through her for so long. But it was all worth it to see the way Spencer nodded frantically at her question, how he released a shaky breath as he held his baby girl close to his chest.

"Hey" he spoke meekly, almost raising his hand to wave at the child but stopping when he heard the melodic laughter come from y/n. He looked at her shyly, blushing a deep rouge as y/n awed at the sight of her husband and their child.

Spencer slowly lifted his hand to the baby, stroking the petal soft skin with his wavering finger. Tears formed in his golden gaze as the young girl cooed gently, her smaller hands gripping his index finger tightly. A precious pout crossed his chapped lips as he watched his daughters eyes finally open, orbs of the purest amber shone brightly in the lights of the hospital room, so full of innocence and tranquility that it made Spencer's heart thump in his chest. 

"Have you came up with a name?" The nurse from before spoke, snatching Spencer away from his daze. He looked over at y/n with a cheerful smile, arms still cradling the baby.

"Diana Emily Reid" He spoke proudly, grinning to y/n at their choice of name. He had always wanted to name his daughter after his mother, the woman who had helped him into the man he was, even though she had her bad days Diana was an incredible parent to both Spencer and Y/n when they met. So it hadn't shocked him when it was his wife that suggested they named their daughter after her.

Y/n and Diana had a special relationship, an unspoken bond that had formed immediately after meeting. Y/n loved Diana like a mother and her like a daughter, it seemed only right to name her child after the woman that although plagued by ghosts never failed to bring light to her day.

"It's beautiful" the nurse spoke, smiling at the couple before taking her leave and hurriedly scattering through the door to alert the anxious team members that sat impatiently in the waiting room.

Spencer looked back down at Diana, crystalline rivers flowing gently down his face as he watched the girl experience life for the first time. His trembling finger still gripped by the doll like hands, their grasp unwavering as she slowly nodded off to sleep in her fathers arms.

When he looked over at y/n he saw that she had drifted off to sleep aswell, her once pain ridden face now completely relaxed as her head lulled side to side from her upright position.

"I love you both so much, more than you'll ever know" he whispered, placing a careful kiss to Diana's head as he swayed softly.


	19. Letters

An elegant raven pen sat between Spencer's lightly trembling fingertips, shallow and shaky exhales fleeing him as he watched precious crystal tears mark the paper in front of him. 

His curls fell ruggedly against the scarlet stained porcelain of his skin, the tendrils deepened in their colour by the warm glow emitted by the candle light beside him. The comforting smell of cinnamon washed over his senses as the wax melted, he allowed himself a moment to close his eyes, truly feel each and every part of his body, and for what felt like the first time in months, properly breathe.

The candle had always been y/n's favourite, he could still remember coming home from work, delightful aromas of coffee and fresh baked biscuits flooding the air. The same cinnamon candle sat upon the dark wooden coffee table, it's flame forever burning.

The day he came home and saw the melted wax spilled across the ground, no delicate spark burning away he knew something was wrong. He could remember the feeling in his chest as he opened the door to their room, the sheets no longer neat and pristine instead they were drenched in vile vermillion, tears and scrapes lining the fabric. And in the centre of it all, lay y/n. 

Her e/c eyes that once brought shame to the sun with their unparalleled beauty, so infinite in their ethereality. The once bright inferno that blazed from within now extinguished, reduced to nothing but ash as she lay sprawled across the stark white sheets.

Spencer shook his head, unaware of how heavy his breathing had became. His hands shook eagerly as he brought the tip of the pen to the paper.

For months, every day, he had written y/n a letter. Talking about his day, how much he missed her, anything that came to his beautiful mind. 

But today felt different, he finally felt calm. Like the unbearable weights that weighed down on his lungs had slowly begun to lift, his senses no longer dulled and darkened by the ghosts that loomed over him.

He wasn't sure what to say in this letter, all he knew was that it would be his last for a while. 

So as the ebony ink spread across the coffee brown paper, he allowed himself to well and truly say goodbye.

Dear y/n,

I never knew I could love someone as much as I do you, everything I do, or see reminds me of you. And for a while, being reminded of you brought me nothing but pain, but now every time I see these things they calm me. Because I know that even though you're gone, you never truly left. That eventually, we'll see each other again.

Even though I've lost you for just now, I know that you can never truly leave. Because that's what loving someone means, by loving someone as eternally as I love you there is no way we could ever truly be parted, for I may have lost a part of my soul when you died but a piece of yours still lives alongside me.

I will love you forever, that is a promise I swear to keep. 

Goodbye My Love,

Spencer Reid.


	20. Little Things

Spencer knew he loved y/n whole heartedly, and she him. But he didn't need loud proclamations to know just how loved he was, rather it was in the little things that Spencer felt the full force of her affection.

From things as simple as the day he had been getting dressed for JJ's wedding and couldn't seem to be able to get his tie quite right.

An irritated huff left Spencer as he tugged on the navy fabric, its silken texture almost impossible to twist in just the right way, the knot always ending up small and impossibly tight.

"What are you huffing about?" Y/n laughed airily as she walked into the room, a f/c gown flowed elegantly down her frame, accenting each beautiful feature of her body. Spencer forgot about his tie completely as he openly gawked at the girl, golden gaze concealed by his pleasure blown pupils. 

Y/n chuckled as she watched the young genius admire her, secretly revelling in the lustrous gleam within his amber eyes. She could see Spencer's thin fingers still clinging desperately to the smooth fabric, veins protruding as he felt the same anger flow through him as he remembered just how annoying his tie had been.

Spencer just pouted childishly, milking the innocence of his alluring gaze to get just what he wanted. Y/n sighed before walking towards him, she gripped the fabric, admiring how the cool, delicate fabric felt beneath her fingertips. She expertly began to tie the knot, fighting the temptation to melt into Spencer's embrace as he began to airily brush his hands against her waist. 

Once y/n had finished tying the tie, she had tried to pull away, only to be dragged quickly back to Spencer. She looked up at him with raised brows, trying to conceal the love struck grin that threatened to cross her lips. Spencer pouted once again, trying to kiss y/n on the lips but only managing a swift peck on the cheek as y/n playfully dodged him.

Y/n pulled away completely, laughing loudly when Spencer whined and crossed his arms like a stubborn child.

Or the day that he came home from a terrible case, deep amethyst painted under his once bright eyes. 

No words were spoken as he flopped less than elegantly down onto y/n's lap and nuzzled into the soft fabric of her jumper, scrunching his nose as he inhaled the sugar sweet scent of his love.

Y/n had immediately began to play with his hair, smiling as the exhausted boy began to hum in contentment. Once she was sure Spencer was sound asleep, quiet snores slipping through his parted lips, she had started to separate the hair.

Y/n smiled subconsciously as she twirled his honey tinted hickory tendrils, tying them into small braids before letting them fall apart in her fingers. 

"Love you" Spencer whispered airily into her shirt, closing his eyes once again before falling asleep once again.

The day he knew that he would spend forever with y/n was their first anniversary.

Grand emerald trees towered dramatically over the pair as they strolled hand and hand through the empty park, the only sound being their footsteps as they clicked against the concrete path. It was around seven thirty at night, the sky painted in hypnotizing twilights, oceans of the purest obsidian that shone magnificently in the ghost of the moon. Alluring stars freckled the onyx rivers, adding to the ethereality of the mesmerising sky.

In the distance shone a bright aureate light, its golden hues shining upon the grass as it glowed. Tranquil music played from underneath the large gazebo, calming symphonies that left the pairs brains melted with each beautiful note.

Y/n rushed forward, fingers still intertwined with Spencer's, dragging him alongside her. She stopped as she reached the canopy, smiling widely at the violin player that played the melancholy music.

Spencer bowed dramatically in front of her, extending his hand for her to grasp. Y/n curtsied playfully before lacing their fingers together once again, Spencer pulled her close, relishing in the warmth she emitted.

He slowly began to move to the music, watching as a gentle smile painted y/n's petal soft lips. Her cheeks danced with shades of crimson and rose as they twirled, her f/c dress spinning like a whirlwind around her legs as she spun back into his loving embrace. 

Y/n pressed her head to his chest, leaning into his body as she listened to the steady thumping of his heart. Each beat vibrating through his baby blue shirt and blessing y/n's ears with its quiet beating.

Spencer didn't need her to yell it from the roof tops, exclaim how much she truly adored the bashful man.

For the little things would always show him.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know what you thought!


End file.
